A Letter to Ladies On Male Feelings of Love and Intimacy


fireLadies, stay awhile and listen.

Today, I’m going to talk about the notion of feelings and love from a man’s perspective, since these crazy people think we’re unfeeling. I certainly don’t speak for all men with the following stuff, but it’s pretty consistent across all the fellows that I know.I think the biggest issue is that there’s an assumption that if you don’t feel love the way women do, then you don’t love. That’s not it.

I suppose I can explain this through my own life experiences and what went through my mind when I was starting to die. When I was laying in the hospital, and even prepping for surgery, I stopped thinking about myself completely, strangely enough. What made me realize it wasn’t my time to go yet, was seeing that I was usually everyone else’s rock in times of trouble, but I was down. Even with everything going on with me, the person in the middle of the storm, I wasn’t allowed to vacate my position as the stalwart stone.

The thought of my wife having to survive the world alone is a thought that is difficult for me to bear. I don’t want her to be alone. There are a lot of people that I care about, and my feelings for them run incredibly deep. More than I can explain, and I talk a lot.

Over the years, there has been a way that I have described what romantic intimacy from a woman means to me. I know exactly how I fit into the grand scheme of things, the world and such. I know that I am a terrible beast, to use a turn of phrase. But to me that romance is a thing that makes me take pause; it tames the savage beast, again to use turn of phrase. Again, hard to explain. Maybe it is because the world is a rough place, and existence is cruel. That romantic intimacy is a reprieve from the harshness of it.

That intimacy runs deeper as well. I’ve always viewed those women that I’ve been with as my best friend; the person I can tell anything. I’ve loved my fair share of women in my time; each one teaching me something important about myself in the process. But, there’s always an appropriate time and place for that level of intimacy. Most of the women that I’ve been with are very stoic. On the subject of love in general, men feel these things on an incredibly deep level. And I’ll let you in on a secret, ladies.

Do you know why men don’t talk about their feelings a lot of times? It’s because there are frequently NO WORDS TO EXPLAIN THEM. How am I supposed to explain the feeling in my chest when I wake up next to you in the middle of the night and feel so lucky to be there? There is a world out there without words; that’s what a lot of male feelings are. It’s stuff we literally cannot describe.

The closest thing that we can do when we’re at a loss of words for how we feel is show you through our actions. It’s what we get. So no, it’s not a case of us not feeling; YOU make us speechless. If we’re not talking, it’s because we cannot. Words escape that feeling.

Us not talking about how we feel has nothing to do with macho bullshit, either. Guys talk about this stuff all the time amongst each other. For many of us, we’re committed to spending the rest of our lives trying to explain how we feel every day to you, through our actions.

But you know, according to radical feminists and social justice warriors, a cis het man like me has no feelings. What do I know.


One thought on “A Letter to Ladies On Male Feelings of Love and Intimacy

  1. LaLu, apakah saran sama dengan kritik?? dan jika bahasanya diahepLus, misalnya : mengapa tidak seperti ini? atau sebaiknya anda begini.. apakah itu termasuk kritik?


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